I spent thirty years drinking, and most of those years trying to stop.
In 2012 my son came to visit us in Spain over Christmas. He was meant to stay through the New Year, but he wanted to go home early β and underneath, I knew why. I'd stopped being his father somewhere along the way and become his drinking buddy. One morning, both of us hungover, I sat on a balcony with a blanket around me, watching him pace the beach looking for something he'd lost the night before, because his dad had poured drink into him until neither of us could stand up straight.
Ask me what I am, before anything else, and I'll tell you: a father. It's the top of everything for me. And on that balcony I couldn't dodge it any longer β I hadn't been one. I've never felt lower, or more ashamed. But that shame was the spark: sitting there, one thing burned clear β I had to be a better father. That decision came first. Then came the relief β I could actually do something about it. And the first thing standing in the way was the drink that brought me there. So, for the first time in thirty years: I am never going to drink again β not as the goal, but as the first step.
A day or two later, at a New Year's dinner, I lifted a glass of wine for the toast, drank half, and caught myself handing one last dose of value to the very thing I was walking away from. So I set it down. That was the last drink I ever had β thirty years, ended by half a glass left on a table. Alcohol-free since the 2nd of January 2013.
I never planned to coach anyone. It happened by accident, and became the work I love. Thirteen years, two thousand videos, and thousands of people later, this is what I do. Read the whole story β
